WARNING: What you are about to read is a bit long winded and just a little raw but I wanted to be honest about how God is working in my life. So there you have it.
God's been working on my heart in so many ways. A couple of weeks ago I was at my sister's house for lunch. We often discuss what God is doing in our lives and I very much treasure these conversations. We were having just such a conversation when suddenly, before I even knew what was happening, I found myself having a melt down of sorts. I sat there and basically sobbed to my sister about the areas of my life I'm failing in (and some of these areas I wasn't aware of or at least hadn't acknowledged up until that point) . She was, of course, very encouraging and comforting. But the more I heard her say ,"It's ok. You've got to give yourself a break." the more I thought, nope. I think that's the whole problem. I have been excusing away any area where I feel like I've failed. I always come up with a reason and its never one that sounds like I had any other option but failure. It's never my fault. Now I do want to clarify that failure is a part of life.
Thomas Edison made 1000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb. When a reporter asked, "How did it feel to fail 1000 times?" Edison replied ,"I didn't fail 1000 times. The light bulb was an invention with 1000 steps."
Winston Churchill had to repeat a grade in elementary school and he was asked, "You mean you failed a year in grade school?" His reply was, "I never failed anything in my life. I was given a second opportunity to get it right."
The reoccurring theme in these stories that I see different from a lot of my circumstances is that they kept on trying. So much of the time when I feel overwhelmed or like I've failed I just give up. I stop trying. That is true failure, failing to try.
I've been praying that God would show me the areas where I am believing lies. Show me truth. Reveal yourself and your character to me. And here is His truth that He revealed:
"If we are unfaithful, He remains faithful for He cannot deny who He is" ~2 Timothy 2:13
"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good! His faithful love endures forever." ~Psalm 107:1
Regardless of how many times I fail or am unfaithful, it does not nullify God's faithfulness. I get overwhelmed when I fail and think there is no point in even trying. But I need to look at it differently and realize that God doesn't expect us to be perfect but He does expect us to try. He never gives up on us and that alone should be my motivation to try, try again.
If you are human (and I think you probably are) you will fail. But until we go to live with God in heaven someday we will not be perfect. He doesn't expect us to be. Don't dwell on your failure but learn from it, move on and try again. God is good all the time. He never changes. He never contradicts His own character. We can trust him. He is faithful even when we are not.
Trying...failing...and trying again,